


trouble is (you're part of me)

by yoonjeonghan



Category: Orange Caramel (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, bi little joshua, but lets be real what adult isnt lonely, especially THREE, joshuas lonely, single dad!shua, the kids bully jeonghan, writing kids are hard, you can tell i have been getting into orange caramel lately
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:27:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28825950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoonjeonghan/pseuds/yoonjeonghan
Summary: logically joshua knows the man at his door is not the person he was expecting.at all.but seokmin and seungkwan are already beginning to stir awake and he can hear jihoons bedroom door opening and his phone is ringing from his boss asking if he can make it today.oh fuck it. it’s six in the morning, and after all, she did say he's good with kids, right?
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 103





	1. part one

joshua is fucked. purely, utterly, fucked.

when his usual babysitter called to tell him she cant watch his kids anymore due to the fact that she got a new job, joshua almost passed out on his kitchen floor.

hyerin was the only reason he could make enough money to care for himself, let alone the _entire hous_ e with the addition of _three_ young children.

don’t get him wrong, he loves jihoon, seokmin, and seungkwan with every fiber of his being. he has ever since they came into his life.

he’s just not sure if he’d last another year like this if things didn’t change soon.

thankfully, after hearing joshuas frantic pace (and a dish crash to the floor in the background of the call, followed by seokmin shrieking and seungkwan laughing hysterically), hyerin had redirected him to one of her friends. choi seungcheol, only five months older than joshua, and absolutely brilliant with kids, as she says. they used to be family friends when they were younger, so it should be safe, right? if hyerin trusted him, joshua should find no reason _not_ to do the same.

he was about to do so, but when the good fellow named choi seungcheol showed up at his door this afternoon, joshua quickly realized that hyerin may have left out one too many details about him.

like, maybe, the fact that he had a ring of metal around his bottom lip, and a thin, shiny rod poking through the cartilage of his ears.

logically joshua knows the man at his door is not the person he was expecting. _at all_. but seokmin and seungkwan are already beginning to stir awake and he can hear jihoons bedroom door opening and his phone is ringing from his boss asking if he can make it today.

oh fuck it. it’s six in the morning, and joshua doesn't have the mental strength to deal with this right now. after all, hyerin did say he's good with kids, right?

joshua opens his front door.

jesus.

the door had concealed more surprises than joshua expected.

the look on his face must've given it away, because seungcheol starts speaking, "i know what it looks like."

he does?

"uhuh," joshua says, unsure of what else he could say.

"but here are my references." he hands him a thin stack of papers. "and hyerin's told me a lot about...your...your uh...your son is climbing the chair?”

"my son is _what?_ "

he gestures to seokmin, who is now making his way up the barstool to get to the bowl of jellies on the kitchen island.

"shit!" joshua curses quietly, praying seokmin didn’t hear him as he rushes back into the house. "seokmin, don't climb the stools!”

"i-i'm sorry!" seokmin exclaims, flashing joshua his best puppy dog eyes. "i thought you were busy..."

joshua sighs, a warmth spreading within his chest. “it’s okay, it’s okay. next time, just tell me or mr. seungcheol when you-”

he’s only turned away for at least a second to grab a jelly from the bowl, but when joshua attempts to hand seokmin the jelly, the five year old has already scrambled down the barstool to make his way towards the stranger at the door, exclaiming a loud “whoa!”. joshua barely even has the time to join them because seungkwans running out of his and seokmins shared room, mirroring seokmins “whoa!”.

okay, this is still fine. as long as jihoon doesn’t come out and-

“dad? where’s ms. hyerin?”

oh, jihoon’s also awake. this is a nice welcome party, isn’t it?

so joshua introduces all three of them to the “man with the drawings on his arms” at their door. this is seungcheol, he's ms. hyerin’s friend and since she moved away he’ll be taking over, they have to be nice to him and treat him nicely and all the common things parents tell their kids when a new babysitter comes. seokmin and seungkwan are quick to bombard the poor guy with questions about the tattoos he has on his right arm and his lip ring. joshua almost wants to tell them to take it easy on him, but seungcheol has nothing but a smile on his face as he answers each and every one of their questions. a patient smile, at that.

joshuas heart swells at the image.

“dad,” jihoon tugs on joshuas shirt. “are we really stuck with _that_ loser? why can’t you just ask ms. hyerin to come back?”

“jihoon…you can’t just call him a loser,” joshua shakes his head. “also, he could be more fun than miss hyerin, y’know? what if he could play baseball with you?”

that seemed to do the trick. jihoon quietly makes his way towards his brothers on either side of seungcheol, sitting on the couch. the non stop questions from seokmin and seungkwan makes it nearly impossible for jihoon to slip in his question, and joshua can tell that jihoon’s starting to get impatient.

“hey mister!” jihoon suddenly calls out.

seungcheol directs his attention to the boy standing in front of him. “me? yes?”

jihoon looks to joshua for reassurance, who gives him an encouraging nod. “d-do you play baseball?”

seugncheol then grins. “of course! i was part of my team back in high school.”

just then, joshua catches a glint form in jihoons eye. a quiet smile tugs on the boys lips before he’s turning back to look at joshua, holding his thumb up.

the kids like him; that's what's most important, joshua thinks as he turns the keys in the ignition. he's already shown seungcheol where everything is and the kids' schedules, and even if he had forgotten something, surely jihoon could fill in for him.

everything will be fine, joshua tells himself. yet, he pulls out of the driveway with the unshakeable worry of leaving his kids with someone new for the first time.

* * *

seeing the kitchen with three kids and an adult there should be a common, daily occurrence for joshua whenever he comes home from work, but it’s a particularly odd surprise for him this time.

usually, with hyerin (or even joshua, on the rare occasion that he makes it home in time to have to feed them), the surface in front of seungkwan would look like a crime scene. seokmin would be running laps all around the house, stopping in front of his plate to take a bite every few rounds. jihoon would be the tamest out of them, but he has a habit of leaving his dirty dishes out on the island instead of putting it in the sink. joshua swears he bought a stool for that exact reason, but not once has he encountered said stool ever since he first bought it months ago.

seeing seokmin sitting still for once almost sends joshua into cardiac arrest. what the hell happened to seventy rounds around the couch in front of the kitchen? and seungkwan, properly holding his spoon with his pudgy little hands. he hasn’t murdered anyone tonight?

and _jihoon_ , with his empty plate in his hand as he makes his way up the steps to the sink.

oh, the stool! it’s back! where has it been this entire time?!

seokmin is the first to see joshua coming in through the door, gasping loudly. “daddy’s home!”

joshuas face instantly brightens at the sight of all three of them running towards him for a hug. he bends down to their level, catching them all in his arms. “hey! did you have fun while i was at work?”

“yeah! mr. seungcheol played all the board games with us! and then we went to the park to play baseball and there was a pond and we fed the ducks and then after that he bought us ice cream and we drew pictures and coloured them at home and then- and then- i forgot. but it was so much fun!"

joshua catches only at least three activities during seokmins ramble, but he laughs and pats his head anyway. afterwards, the kids disperse, heading for their own rooms, and it leaves joshua alone in the kitchen with seungcheol, gathering his things in the living room.

"i hope i did alright today," he quietly says.

with how quiet the house (unusually) is, joshua hears him anyway. "you did a great job actually. i...didn't know the kids could eat so well on their own."

seungcheol laughs. "well, i'm glad i could help then."

it's perfect that the conversation seems to end there, because although seungcheols laugh lasts a brief three seconds, it echoes in joshuas mind for the next three minutes. it's the kind of laugh that would usually be unattractive on the wrong person, but seungcheol's not the wrong person, and joshua kind of hates how it lingers in his mind.

"you should come back tomorrow," joshua says, just before seungcheol finishes unplugging his phone charger. "i-i mean the kids like you and i feel like you're someone i can trust."

"oh, um, sure! it'd be a pleasure." and then, seungcheol flashes him a smile.

damn, does everything about him have to be so attractive?

that night, joshua goes through his nightly routine with a stupid smile on his face. while he showers after making sure the entire house is free of safety hazards, he thinks of seungcheol and his laugh and his smile and his abundance of tattoos and piercings. while he watches a disney movie with the kids on the tv, joshuas mind is plagued with thoughts of seungcheol. while he goes into the kitchen to make more popcorn, joshua sees seungcheol in all the spots he was in earlier today.

when he watches over his kids brush their teeth in the bathroom, he can't help but catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror, smiling like a fool.

it's a bit embarrassing, really. he's twenty seven years old with a nine to five job and here he is, all giddy over some guy with tattoos and a lip piercing who's watching over his kids while he's away.

once all the kids are in bed, with the lights off and their windows securely shut, joshua quietly trudges between the living room and the kitchen, heading straight for his little home office. he'd love to be in bed right now, but there's going to be a fire in the office tomorrow if he doesn't finish this report by tonight. besides, only kids sleep at eight. (and maybe he's also scared of the fact that he'll just end up thinking about seungcheol for the next three hours if he doesn't occupy his thoughts with something else.)

with a tired yawn and slouched shoulders, joshua sits himself on what might be the most expensive chair in his entire household. if it's as comfortable as the advertisements say, he'll fall asleep as soon as he shuts his computer off.

so that's exactly what he does at ten, all the way to seven the next morning.

* * *

as the branch manager, all joshua does once he arrives at the office is sit his ass down and print out documents for his underlings to deliver to the correct clients.

today, however, joshua is not a branch manager. joshua is a father of three, one of who has just caused problems at preschool.

preschool! what are these kids doing to warrant a phone call to their parents?

"oh my god," joshua mutters shakily as he gathers his things with trembling hands, "oh my god oh my god oh my god. oh my god."

joshuas secretary, jeon wonwoo, looks upon him with concern in his eyes. "mr. hong? are you alright?"

joshua ceases his movements, looking right into wonwoos eyes with distress. "my son!"

wonwoo, slightly startled, instantly nods and turns back to his computer. "understood. have a nice day sir."

joshua races down the stairs. his hair is probably a mess from the amount of times he's run his fingers through them and he can barely feel his tie around his neck (god, is it even there?), but seokmin's sitting in the principals office as joshua's panicking alone in the office and he isn't very keen on letting him suffer for even a minute longer.

it's a fifteen minute drive to the school from his office, but every time joshua gets caught at a traffic light, it feels like it lasts hours. sometimes, he regrets turning down the offer to work from home, but at the same time, he's positive he'd get absolutely nothing done if he were to be surrounded by his kids for the majority of the day. he parks the car neatly on the side of the road, sucking in a deep breath.

"okay, i'm not mad, just a concerned father. i'm not fighting any parents or teachers or staff members today," he says to himself, opening the mirror on the sun visor. "alright josh, you've got this."

joshua would've loved to see a normal sight. he expected a quiet street, and that the front doors to the school were closed and it, too, was quiet there.

except today, the world isn't exactly on his side.

there stands choi seungcheol at the front doors. from afar, joshua cant hear what he's saying nor can he see who seungcheol is talking to, but the way the vein on seungcheols neck is scarily visible and his eyebrows are knitted together furiously, joshua can tell neither party is enjoying the conversation.

"seungcheol?" joshua says, approaching him.

"oh thank god you're here!" seungcheol exclaims, "i got a call, they said seokmin's in the office-"

"i know, me too," joshua tells him, "but why are you...?"

seungcheol huffs. "they wont let me in."

oh.

well that's ridiculous.

with a little lie and some charm, joshua smuggles a dumbfounded seungcheol into the school building with him. the fact that he just lied to the lady at the front office barely even sticks around in his mind for long.

"if anyone asks, you're my husband."

"i- what?!"

"just go with it."

seungcheol stays quiet for the next minute they spend looking for the principals office. once they get there, they're instantly greeted with the sight of seokmin sitting on a chair, legs dangling over the edge while he keeps his head hung low.

"seokmin? oh thank god you're alright," joshua sighs, rushing forward to engulf seokmin in a hug, which he quickly returns.

"hey kiddo." seungcheol sits next to him, ruffling his hair. "you alright?"

seokmin nods, although his usually bright and smiley demeanor is replaced with a slightly dimmer version. "i'm alright hyung."

"stay here with seungcheol, alright? i'm gonna go talk to your teacher." joshua pats his head before turning to enter a room.

no one is speaking in the waiting room outside, although the sounds of printers and shredders working would easily cover up any low chatter that goes on. seungcheol fidgets in his seat a little, not used to how quiet seokmin is being.

"so, you wanna tell me what happened?" he starts.

seokmin shakes his head. "no."

"okay...did someone say something mean to you?"

seokmin shakes his head.

"did they hurt you?"

seokmin nods. "he hurt jihoon hyung first."

* * *

while joshua sits in the principals office on behalf of his son, he cant help but feel like he's the 5 year old being lectured instead, and he hates it. he stares at the head of the school, expression as apathetic as it could be.

"mr. hong, i'm afraid this type of behavior is quite...atrocious for a five year old."

oh give him a break. atrocious? what is this? the eighties? it was _just_ a push. seokmin pushed an older kid in the hallways after hearing him make fun of jihoon for not having a mother. the kid shoved jihoon while he barely even stumbled, let alone hit the ground, when seokmin pushed him back. rather, when _he_ pushed seokmin, seokmin fell.

and yet seokmin's the one in trouble?

"what is this, some kind of joke?" joshua asks, slightly ticked now. "you literally caught it on the security cameras. seokmin barely even hit the kid, and seokmin's the one who _fell_. i don't understand why he's in trouble."

"well, you see mr. hong, seokmin was the one who initially started the fight-"

"no. he bothered jihoon, seokmin stepped in to defend his brother."

"yes, but-"

"but what? that's exactly what the video shows. i'm not sure what's unclear here?"

the principal shares an uneasy look with his assistant, but joshua stands his ground. he remains in his seat, legs crossed and an eyebrow raised, as if to taunt an answer out of them.

and an answer, he taunts out of them. "f-fair enough mr. hong. thank you for your time."

"great," joshua hums, getting up. "i look forward to not returning."

and with that, joshua bids the two school staff goodbye before walking out the door. seokmin and seungcheol are quietly playing a game on seungcheols phone, but upon hearing joshuas return, seokmin jumps off his seat and runs towards his dad.

"daddy!" seokmin giggles, "are we going home? i wanna go home, i'm tired."

joshua frowns. "i'm afraid not seokie. but i’ll be there with seungcheol hyung to pick you up later okay?”

it takes a moment (and a promise for ice cream after school) for joshua to convince a teary seokmin to go back to his classroom. seokmin quietly trudges back into the school building. although joshua's accomplished his goal, he cant help but feel a tug at his heartstrings when seokmin rounds the corner.

"he'll be fine," joshua says. it could be easily mistaken for a statement to seungcheol, standing right next to him, but it's addressed mostly to himself.

"yeah," seungcheol affirms anyway, "he's a good kid, responsible. don't worry."

two pair makes their way back out of the school building. they pass the lady at the front office, who bids them a farewell, and the previous lie joshua told her has completely escaped him by now. joshua turns to where his car is parked, but the footsteps beside him seem to get further away instead of staying constant.

joshua turns around. seungcheol is walking down the opposite direction.

"seungcheol!" he calls, "where are you going?"

"oh, the- the house? to get my things...i-is my shift over?"

joshua feels himself smiling involuntary. "c'mon, get in the car."

"joshua it's fine, i can just walk-"

"cheol," joshua repeats, and the usage of the nickname takes the both of them aback. "just get in the car."

seungcheol hasn't had anyone use that nickname on him since-

without another word, seungcheol abandons his previous route in favour of riding in a car; the obvious, more comfortable choice.

except the one driving the car is his boss, who he just spent half an hour with pretending to be married to get to one of the kids he's watching over.

"lets go get lunch," joshua says, "you haven't eaten, haven't you?"

seungcheol wants to say no. that it's fine and he could just eat back at his own house, but he thinks about it for a moment. his dingy little apartment barely even has a working fridge, let alone enough ingredients to make him food that's something other than instant ramen.

"n-no..." seungcheol responds.

"alright, we're having lunch together then." joshua tells him. "after all, what kind of husband would i be to not take you out?"

seungcheol stares at joshua for a moment, unblinking. _this man is incredulous!_ he thinks, but while joshua's driving and not looking back at seungcheol, he speculates that there's more to joshua than the gentle voiced, awkward single father of three that he seems to be.

so seungcheol smiles, welcoming the comfort that comes naturally to him. "alright then, lead the way, _husband_."

neither of them knew it then, but having food together would be a recurring theme in their adventure of getting to know each other. it started with the bowl of kalguksu after seokmins trip to the principals office. then, three days after, with two servings of beef stew in joshuas kitchen after the kids have all fallen asleep. many more of those late night dinner 'dates' in the kitchen are the results of the new project joshua's working on for work, causing him to arrive home just after the kids doze off, but just before seungcheol can quickly eat some food and leave after joshua returns.

on this particular night, its seafood fried rice with a side of sharing their past stories.

"what about you? how'd you end up being a babysitter?" joshua asks.

seungcheol hums. "well it's mostly from hyerin, but...i had to work closer to home."

"oh? why?"

seungcheol breaks eye contact. "my mother got sick a few months ago. she's living with me and my brother now."

"oh, seungcheol, i'm really sorry-"

"it's fine," he dismisses, smiling a little. "kind of a bad thing to say, but...it's nice to finally spend time with her. i used to be so busy with work, and it's not the same, but i take what i can get."

joshua nods slowly in understanding. while seungcheol scoops up another spoonful of rice, joshua cant stop himself from thinking about his own parents. they're still in la, left behind all those years ago when he decided to go to university in korea. he had promised to text his mom everyday, but it's been months since he last-

"there's five chairs," seungcheol points out.

"huh?"

"five chairs," he says, "five beds. five plates. five sets of cutlery. i don't mean to pry but...the last one belongs to someone, doesn't it? or at least used to?"

oh.

yeah.

it did.

it used to. it still does, but joshua tries not to let it get in the way of his life.

she's gone, she chose to leave. he finds that nothing good comes out of lamenting over the loss of her.

joshua nods. "my ex wife, i guess."

"oh, may i ask what happened?"

joshua looks at seungcheol in the eye. he's holding himself back, cautiously toeing the line to figure out if it's safe or not. joshua sees that much in the way seungcheol looks at him with his hopeful, yet careful gaze. he hears that much in the volume of seungcheols voice.

joshua wants him to know that it's safe. that seungcheol can feel safe with him.

"not sure, honestly. i just...found coke one day, filed a divorce. she didn't even put up a defense or fought for custody, it made me think she did it on purpose."

had she? so quickly after having seungkwan? how would joshua even know that she wasn't doing drugs _while_ she had seungkwan? perhaps if she had the guts to leave joshua with all three of them without guilt, she could've easily done the latter too.

seungcheol doesn't respond, and a silence settles around them. it's not the awkward kind of quiet, but rather the kind of quiet that gives the both of them room to think, to breathe. seungcheol waits patiently for joshua to continue, feeling that there's more to the story than a drug addiction and a divorce.

"we met in uni. she was in finance, i was in business administration. we got married right after graduation, even if my parents didn't really approve of her yet," he laughs dryly.

he should've listened when his mom warned him.

he briefly wonders what his life would've been like if they hadn't taken things so quickly.

"oh well, it's been years now," joshua says, "i've moved past it. i have jihoon, and seokmin, and seungkwan, and hyerin before but now i've...got you. i'm happy."

could he say that? that he has seungcheol, in a way?

but he's happy. joshua's sure of at least that, more so when he spends time with seungcheol.

seungcheol nods slowly, a soft smile playing on his lips. "i'm happy to hear that."

the rest of the night is spent on a lighter tone. joshua shares funny stories from work, and seungcheol from home. before they know it, plates are empty, and midnight nears. surely it's too late for seungcheol to head home? should joshua offer to let him spend the night?

"don't you think it's too late?" joshua asks, "i'll sleep on the couch tonight and you can take the bed. it's not safe out there."

seungcheol smiles, the specific smile that sends butterflies erupting in joshuas stomach. "joshua, i cant. i appreciate it and all but...i really cant."

oh.

well, joshua wont pry. he can't come off as desperate, and besides, they're relationship is still technically ruled by the business aspect.

"okay. um, just, stay safe cheol." joshua says the last part quietly, although he's not quite sure why.

seungcheol smiles again, his cheeks bunching up this time and gums peeking out from behind his lips. "thanks joshua, have a good night."

it's not until seungcheol leaves that real silence finally settles over the house. this time, it's the suffocating type. it's the maddening type of quiet, and joshua wants to yell for seungcheol to come back, but he _can't_. he just can't.

once seungcheol leaves, joshua finally realizes how lonely he truly is.


	2. part two

it's a(n oddly) quiet morning when joshuas sink decides to break down, just an hour before seungcheol arrives. jihoon was using his bathroom (seokmin and seungkwan were too messy, as he says) when he said something about the water not going down the drain.

sure enough, joshua checks, and his sink is holding what looks like a big bowl of soapy water.

a plumber would never make it in time, and as much as he'd love to have him over, joshua doesn't exactly fancy the idea of calling seungcheol in early, adding onto the list of reasons joshua is, yet again, utterly fucked. he can barely put together a chair from ikea, so he isn't exactly interested in finding out if he'd be of any assistance to a plumber.

wait a minute...

isn't his next door neighbour a mechanical engineer? the one joshua's certainly positive is a furry? the one who practices growling to himself every morning, praying that the sound of his lawnmower covers up the half-yell-half-growls he makes?

yeah, joshua's seen him claw at the air in his front yard one too many times through his office window.

but would kwon soonyoung help him fix his sink at seven in the morning?

it's not like joshua has much of a choice anyway as he walks up to his doorstep, heart racing in his chest. this is so embarrassing; he has probably said three words to this man since joshua moved in six years ago. he swears he's been meaning to get out and socialize, especially after the divorce, but juggling the kids and his job leaves no room to socialize outside of his workplace.

maybe, this could be his breakthrough.

after knocking, joshua hears a "coming!" from somewhere inside the house.

oh, there's no going back now.

within a flash, the door opens to reveal the tiger-esque man himself, clad in a tiger print pajama set with his hair sticking up in all kinds of directions. joshua thinks, that's his _mane_.

or is that a lion thing? wait, are tigers and lions any different?

"oh, joshua hong! nice to...finally see you...again?"

joshua internally winces. he'd been praying that soonyoung didn't notice how rarely joshua's interacted with him.

yeah, he's gonna have to work on that one.

joshua cant help but feel overdressed in a white button up and black slacks, in front of his neighbour who has (obviously) just gotten out of bed. he wonders if soonyoung, in turn, feels underdressed at the sight of his (obviously) overworked neighbour.

"h-hey soonyoung..." joshua laughs nervously, "i'm really really sorry to bother you, but i remembered you studied engineering and everything and my sink...um, it broke."

_his sink broke_. god, he doesn't even know the proper terminology. joshuas cheeks flare up as he avoids eye contact with soonyoung, preferring the gray concrete of the ground.

"oh that's fine, want me to go take a look?" soonyoung quickly offers.

oh!

joshua's never been so thankful for the existence of soonyoung, and the fact that he'd managed to score a house next to soonyoung, and the fact that soonyoung doesn't ask many questions, although there's plenty of silence to fill with those very questions. while they make the short sidewalk journey back to joshua's house, the man can only talk about when his own sink broke due to the buildup of cooled oils that eventually clogged up his pipes while joshua hums and nods to let him know he's listening.

"um, it might be a mess," joshua quietly says, "i'm sorry in advance."

the door opens to reveal seungkwan sitting quietly in the living room, eyeing a candy bar while jihoon is eating another one of that same candy bar next to him. joshua can hear seokmin faintly singing to himself in his own bathroom, and he wonders for a second as to why seokmin has been in there for the past twenty minutes.

"daddy, who is that?" jihoon asks.

"oh, this is mr. soonyoung, our neighbour. those are my kids, jihoon and seungkwan. come say hi, he's gonna help fix the sink," joshua explains.

he barely notices that seungkwans left his spot on the couch with the speed of light to make his way to soonyoungs foot. "mr. soonyoung, are you a tiger?"

oh.

oh...seungkwan...

oh dear...

soonyoung seems to have harnessed the power of the sun once the question leaves seungkwans lips. "well i most certainly am!"

"and you can fix sinks too?!"

"that's right!"

"wow! you're a fixing tiger! a- a figer!"

a figer? is seungkwan at the age where he makes up words by putting them together? when was the last time joshua researched that stuff?

okay, well, at least soonyoung gets along with seungkwan.

the fixing doesn't take too long, despite the limited array of tools joshua has available and his clumsy fingers aiding soonyoung. the soapy water travels down the drain, revealing the shiny ceramic underneath.

now it's time to go to work. fuck. and he was _just_ beginning to like the entire concept of socializing.

"thank you so much for coming," joshua says at the door, "i really don't know what i would've done if not for you."

soonyoung laughs and dismisses the matter with a wave of his hand. "it's no problem, really. you can call me if you need help, or maybe a friend while you run errands and-"

the door opens.

ah.

there he is. joshuas starboy.

"sorry i'm late," seungcheol apologizes, coming through the door with the spare key joshuas given him. "the bus was late and i forgot my charger when i left- oh! i'm so sorry, i didn't know you had guests over."

joshua opens his mouth to say something, maybe a formal greeting to introduce seungcheol to soonyoung, or maybe address the fact that he's only two minutes late. it doesn't really matter, because joshuas lips are moving and he knows he's speaking, but it feels as if he were a robot, delivering a scripted introduction for seungcheol and soonyoung, while his mind focuses on only one thing.

soonyoungs expression when seungcheol came in through the door.

joshua prays that soonyoung would greet the guy like an old friend who he hasn't seen in a long time. maybe then that'd explain why soonyoung looked so...captivated. or maybe soonyoung a big fan of tattoos or piercings but had never been able to get any of his own due to whatever reason.

but the first thing soonyoung says to seungcheol is full of nerves. he's stuttering as he tells seungcheol his name and joshua notices his fingers beginning to tug on the hem of his shirt. soonyoung barely even spares a glance at his tattoos.

for some reason, it instills panic inside joshua.

joshua sees seungcheols adams apple bob up and down as he gulps. he must've thought nobody would notice, or that joshua isn't paying attention, but joshua is paying attention and he's not sure whether he wishes he hadn't or if he's more bitter that he _did_ notice.

"um, i-i'm choi seungcheol, i'm looking after the kiss- kids! i meant kids." seungcheol coughs, holding his hand out.

that's cute- no wait! they're about to touch hands!

"nice to meet you," soonyoung breathes, taking his hand. "i live next door, so, um, you can ask me for help. if- if you need, of course!"

they touched hands.

soonyoungs words take a while for joshua to process. another minute goes down the drain as joshua tries to figure out the implications behind them.

so soonyoungs going to come over. while he's not home. to 'help' seungcheol and the kids. so seungcheol and soonyoung will be left alone. under his roof. with his kids. without him.

without him.

huh.

_without_ him...

when joshua snaps out of his trance, its by soonyoungs hand patting his shoulder, bidding him goodbye. joshua wastes no time as he waves at the retreating figure, stepping out of his door.

"i've never seen him before. what brought him-"

"i'm-" joshuas voice starts off strong but it falters after he looks up and notices he has seungcheols attention. "i'm running late..."

"oh, well um, drive safe! we'll see you tonight."

joshua hums, avoiding eye contact. he grabs his keys from the hooks on the wall and swallows the acid rising back down his throat. a kiss for jihoon, a kiss for seokmin, and a kiss for seungkwan is all he leaves before he's disappearing behind the door, just like soonyoung did a few moments earlier.

he probably shouldn't think about it, no. he has to concentrate on where he's going as he drives. and he can't afford to be thrown off his rhythm at work, or jeon wonwoo might suffer the consequences instead of him. no, he's going to be busy and distracted by work the whole day. he has to be. seungcheol wont be on his mind today. he'll make sure of that.

* * *

seungcheol may not be on his mind at work, but joshua sure does spend a little too much time thinking about him every other time.

especially, after he briefly catches him talking to soonyoung on the sidewalk in front of his house.

it was a brief exchange, no more than a minute. joshua, behind the glass with seungkwan on his lap, could hear nothing from them, but from the way seungcheol bounces on the tips of his toes, and the way soonyoungs eyes turn into crescents when seungcheol takes his phone to type something in, joshua can tell.

they have now exchanged numbers.

fuck.

seungcheol walks in through the door, an award winning smile in his face. "hello!"

"mr seungcheol!" seokmin instantly exclaims, “look look! hyung and i made a maple syrup river!"

"river!" seungkwan yells out, clambering off joshuas lap to join his brothers at the bar table. "maple syrup! hyung, kwannie wants some!"

well? joshua wont look like a fool, sitting alone in his living room.

he joins the crowd at the kitchen island. seokmin, horrifyingly, has split his slab of pancake in two (with the help of jihoon), creating a canal in between. he'd poured an excessively huge amount of maple syrup to fill in the gap, causing his plate to overflow with said syrup.

"seokmin...are you sure you can eat that?" seungcheol asks.

seokmin nods. "of course! watch."

seokmin takes a bite of his soggy, syrupy pancake.

he makes a face.

"uh, tastes bad…” he mumbles, "daddy? can you finish this for me?"

joshua and seungcheol end up sharing soggy, overly sweet pancakes at eight in the morning, on a thursday.

setting the comical part aside, this should be another one of those intimate moments that joshua quietly cherishes.

except it's ruined by the fact that, while they sit across each other, slowly putting bite after bite in their mouths, all joshua can think about is his interaction with soonyoung.

fuck, he's too deep into it.

days pass. maybe even weeks, or a month at this point of time. joshua's not sure. he's barely keeping track of the days, just focusing on work and spending time with the kids, all to avoid the thought of seungcheol and soonyoung. he's even started coming home on time so that seungcheol leaves just before dinner starts.

but the more joshua does that, the bigger time frame he's allowing for seungcheol to pay soonyoung a night visit. he's accidentally seen it from the window in the living area; seungcheol at soonyoungs doorstep as they exchange a few words. they look happy, joshua thinks. while they're shyly laughing and subtly trying to touch each other, joshua's with his kids as they eat stew for dinner.

jihoon, seokmin, and seungkwan are all talking amongst themselves while joshuas attention fades in and out; he knows soonyoung's finally invited seungcheol in for the first time since they met, but he also knows that seokmin made macaroni art today at school and tried to lick it, thinking it’d taste like macaroni and cheese.

this continues. for the next week. and the next. and the next. joshua's glad to be spending time with his kids, but he can't help but notice soonyoungs living room lights are off, and that his bedroom lights are on.

he sighs roughly as he puts the plates away. thank god the kids are in bed, or he'd have all three of them pestering him about why he seems so upset. don't get him wrong, he's delighted that his kids worry about him, he's just not sure they'd understand the complexity of it all.

after all, he's not even _dating_ seungcheol. it's not like he has the right to be upset over the fact that he's banging his neighbour now. he really doesn't know why he's so upset over losing seungcheol; the guy's just a friend! hell, if he was heartless, seungcheol was just his babysitter.

so why, pray tell, does the knowledge of seungcheol and soonyoungs blooming relationship feel like someone's twisting a knife stabbed into his gut?

it's fucked enough that the pads of his fingers are beginning to shrivel up from being in contact for so long, but he's actively losing bodily fluids from the tears escaping his eyes too. it's so stupid to cry over this, especially at his age,

but god, he's just so lonely. and the second he has- no, the second he _thinks_ he has someone to fill up that void, they're taken away from him by someone else.

so is this a curse? is he cursed with loneliness until his life ends? is this what his life will be like for the years to come? poor old joshua hong, aging alone with nobody to keep him company? what about when his kids are all in college? would he truly have no one then?

joshua wipes his tears on his sleeve after putting the last plate away. he sits himself at the table, hand in his hair as he wills his eyes to stop watering. this is stupid, he tells himself, choi seungcheol is _just some guy_.

some guy, who's kept him company for almost five months now. some guy, who's cooked him dinner and kept him company while they ate together even if he could've ate first and gone home as soon as joshua came home. some guy, who joshua really considers as one of his closest friends.

some guy, who joshua was just beginning to fall in love with. with all his piercings and tatoos and foolery and shyness and charms and clumsiness. god, joshua was beginning to think that maybe he'd found someone to spend his time with, along with the kids.

but no. he really hasn't. seungcheol wasn't it.

so who is?

"daddy?" a soft voice calls.

joshua jolts, quickly drying his cheeks. he looks to his right to see jihoon quietly standing in the hallway, pointer fingers on each hand toying with each other.

"oh, hoonie, you're not asleep yet?" joshua asks. he hates how hoarse his voice turns out.

jihoon shakes his head, and begins to approach joshua. "why are you crying?"

"c-crying? i'm not, i just got water on my face from doing the dishes," joshua lies, putting on his best smile.

"are you lying? my teacher said lying is bad. you shouldn't lie, daddy..."

oh...he shouldn't, should he? he shouldn't have even be able to lie to his own son in the first place.

with a sigh, he sits on the floor in front of jihoon, patting his head. "you're very clever jihoon."

jihoon smiles a little. "are you sad?"

joshua smiles back sadly. "mhm. a little."

"why are you sad?"

no, he can't lie.

but he can't exactly tell jihoon the truth either, can he?

he can't ruin their image of seungcheol like that.

joshua opens his mouth to dismiss the subject, but right behind jihoon, seokmin and seungkwans bedroom door opens, and out they come, running over in their pajamas.

"daddy's crying?! no! why's daddy sad?"

“daddy’s sad!?”

oh no.

“no! no, i’m not sad guys,” joshua says. “i’m just- just sweating out of my eyes.”

“daddy, we’re not two,” seokmin grumbles.

joshua clicks his tongue. “touché. but really, i’m not sad. i’m fine guys.”

“is it because of mr. seungcheol?”

somehow, for the first time in his life, joshua wishes seokmin was screaming his lungs out right now. maybe then he could’ve pretended he didn’t hear seungkwans small voice over his brother, and joshua could’ve dodged the question altogether.

but reality hits him. he’s sitting on the floor of the living room with all three of his sons gathered around him as the youngest of them had managed to perfectly guess what’s on joshua’s mind.

they’re really his kids, aren’t they?

joshua smiles sadly, ruffling seungkwans hair. “hm, well it is kind of because of him-”

“then we’ll fire him!” seokmin exclaims in triumph. “kick him out of the house and tell him to never come back!”

“what? no!”

“yeah!” jihoon joins, “i never liked him anyway! he’s greasy!”

“greasy?!”

“and old!” seungkwan finalizes.

“guys, he’s my age.” joshua facepalms.

and seokmin, with all the stars in his eyes, says to joshua, “but you’re the cool kind of old!”

oh.

"you made all the toys and you can drive! and you're the best daddy in the world." he beams.

well joshua didn't technically make their toys, he just assembled the pieces from the-

oh.

...oh.

did seokmin just tell him he's the best dad in the world?

joshua's reminded of what love, to himself, is. it's not romantic dinner dates or nights spent talking together like the world was his. in the end, it's when he's with jihoon, seokmin, and seungkwan. and they don't even have to be doing anything. hell, the kids could be sleeping in heaps around him.

he'd still be the happiest man on earth.

he doesn't even realize that he's tearing up until seokmins smile fades, replaced with a worried expression. "did- did i say something wrong? i'm sorry! i didn't mean to..."

"no!" joshua quickly says, "no, these are happy tears, seok. i just- i love you all so much."

suddenly, jihoon launches himself forwards, right into joshuas arm. the impact of it is so strong that it knocks joshua backwards, sending him to the floor. jihoon doesn't say anything, just keeps his arms wrapped tight around joshua.

seokmin and seungkwan quickly join in on the pile, stacking their bodies upon joshuas chest in a messy pile. the wind is knocked out of joshuas lungs, but he has a smile over his face anyway. its a different one compared to the one he used to have when he was alone with seungcheol. this time, he's grateful, but not despite the fact that he's lonely. he's not that lonely anymore; he has jihoon, seokmin, and seungkwan. he's not lonely, and he's happy with that. he's happy with just this.

"thanks guys," he says quietly.

* * *

joshua wasn't actually planning on firing seungcheol. he'd been a huge help in his life, and he wasn't going to lose that just because he got some of his stupid feelings hurt.

but if he didn't get along with the kids anymore...

then what could joshua do?

he's not even sure if the tantrums were genuine, or if they were just to give joshua a reason to turn seungcheol away. his kids are clever, he knows that, but clever enough to devise a plan like this?

perhaps they deserve a grammy award for their acting.

within three days of joshuas little heart-to-heart session with the kids, he breaks it to seungcheol that this will be his last week. he'd never really experienced the difficulties of being the one to tell someone that they were going to lose their job soon, but hey, you learn something new everyday, don't you?

seungcheol, thankfully, doesn't ask many questions about why, what happened, what he did wrong, or other things. joshua briefly considers that he himself had been wanting to resign for a while now (maybe, if he was planning on taking his relationship with soonyoung further?), but the thought if it just angered joshua.

he pushes it away.

on seungcheol's last day, the kids seemingly drop their act, at least for his last few moments with them. they bid him goodbye, thank him for his company up to now, before he disappears out the door. only this time, he's not coming back.

the house is quiet, as it always is after seungcheol leaves, but joshuas heart doesn't twist. in fact, he lets out a sigh of relief.

even when he sees seungcheol at soonyoungs doorstep, having a conversation that looks sadder than their regular ones, joshua fills a glass with wine, watching the way the dark liquid swirls in the glass. there's still some guilt, remorse in his heart, but only over the fact that seungcheol might take a while to search for another job. could he help him somehow? maybe someone in the office knows someone who- no, hold on. that's not his problem right now. he can think of that later. now, it's his time.

so he inhales.

no more, he decides. no more chasing.

he exhales.


	3. part three

the number one rule with joshuas kids is that you should never let them know what your full name is.

the number one mistake joshua made when he raised his kids was to explain to them why having someones full name gives you power over that person.

the second mistake joshua made while raising his kids was to say yoon jeonghans entire name out loud on a call with hyerin, while seokmin was just around the corner in the hallway.

hyerin says, “well he’s your age too, and i _promise_ this time i’m telling you everything i know about him.”

“you have got to stop giving me guys in their late twenties hyerin,” joshua huffs, “what if i fall in love with him again? or what if he ends up fucking my _other_ neighbour?”

“what, you mean mrs. lee? joshua, she’s almost eighty!”

“what?!”

sometimes, joshua doesn’t feel like he’s living in his own house.

“you know what? never mind, i’ll call him today and ask if he’s up for it,” she tells him.

“okay, thank you so much hyerin,” joshua sighs, “i really don’t know what i’d do without you.”

“okay twink. goodbye.”

“huh? wait, hyerin-" but the line is cut before joshua can get another word in.

wait…twink? really? does he actually look like one? he cant ask his kids about it could he? would they even _know_ what a twink is? shouldn't he be more concerned if they did?

so after dropping off the kids at school, joshua finds himself at jeon wonwoo's desk, where he's typing away at his computer.

"wonwoo," he clears his throat. "can i ask you something?"

"um, sure," wonwoo says, turning away from his computer.

"do i look like a twink?"

like a- like a _what?_

if wonwoo were drinking something at that moment, joshua's a hundred percent certain that he'd be spitting the drink out. wonwoo chokes on air as his eyes widen, instantly breaking eye contact with joshua. what the hell kind of boss asks his assistant such a question? he doesn't remember agreeing to anything like this when he first applied to work at the company.

"i-i'm not quite sure sir," wonwoo coughs.

"wonwoo, please," joshua sighs, "let's pretend we're old friends instead of colleagues."

incredulously, wonwoo eyes joshua up and down. i mean- sure? joshua does have the build of a twink, excluding the fact that his shoulders are insanely broad and wonwoo hasn't been able to take his eyes off his chest since-

wonwoo coughs again, willing his train of thought away. "w-well, maybe some...parts of you...suit the criteria of a twink?"

"like what? my waist?"

it's the way joshua asks that question so innocently that makes wonwoo want to punch this guy in the face. he's sure that just about anyone would punch their boss in the face for free, but wonwoos case isn't like that. joshua's just so infuriating; and he doesn't even try! he doesn't even _know_ he's as infuriating as he is.

so he knows he has a nice waist, little shit. he _knows_ he's pretty, if not in a twinky way.

wonwoo grits out, resuming his work, "i should get back to work. have a nice day sir."

joshua, unfortunately, is still very, very confused.

he leaves wonwoo alone anyway in the end, not wanting to bother the younger any longer. he already carries half of joshuas burden, along with the full weight of his own. joshua would have to be the worst manager on earth if he were to distract his own assistant.

so he goes to distract his boss. the big boss. the absolute overlord of this entire company. the man who chooses who stays, who goes, and who rises up the ranks.

wee little lee jungchan, head worrier of the future of the company.

he's still, what, twenty three? the amount of times joshua's heard him muttering to himself about the future in a single day exceeds the number of years both he and chan has spent on this earth combined.

joshua waltzes into chans office. "hey little man."

"you're fired."

"i'm joking!" joshua throws his hands in the air, "i have a question for you."

peering from behind his newspaper, chan lifts his feet off his desk and folds his newspaper to put it away. joshua knows the kid hasn't read a single word, let alone a single article. the papers are always still as smooth as they were when they were first printed out, as joshua's come to notice.

"alright," chan says, sipping on his coffee. "shoot."

"do i look like a twink?"

wonwoo didn't have a drink.

but chan does.

and chan chokes so hard that the liquid leaves his mouth.

joshua leaves the office before chan can change his mind about not firing him.

* * *

joshua’s less nervous about meeting yoon jeonghan for the first time compared to meeting seungcheol. the name _yoon jeonghan_ sounds much less intimidating compared to _choi seungcheol_ , and at least this time, jeonghan’s coming at a time where joshua has the liberty of taking his time to help introduce him to both the kids and the house.

logically, joshua shouldn’t be nervous, at all. he probably shouldn’t have his leg bouncing up and down so rapidly that it even concerned jihoon for a brief second. and he probably shouldn’t be biting his nails, because seungkwan’s going to do the same.

but he really can’t stop himself as he constantly eyes the door, bracing himself for a knock, or for the doorbell to ring. even the slightest hint of a shadow behind the frosted glass around the door sends his entire being into shock.

and then, the doorbell rings.

joshua flinches until his heels hits the sofa with a thud. he tries to get up, but his legs wont move and his head is spinning like crazy.

what the hell is going on? why is he being this way?

“dad, there’s someone at door,” jihoon reminds him.

come on joshua. it’s _just_ the babysitter. it’s just one of hyerins friends. it’s just yoon jeonghan. no more surprises this time. or you could just cry to hyerin over the phone if there were still some surprises after all.

a part of joshua expects to see seungcheol behind the door, eyes bright and lip ring reflecting the sun rays as he smiles at joshua. he expects a plain t-shirt with ripped jeans and a smile that takes his breath away, but it can't be. they'd seen the last of seungcheol weeks ago.

joshua opens the door.

joshua gulps.

jeonghan's very...different from seungcheol, to say the least. polar opposites, if joshua dared.

jeonghan stands at joshuas doorway with a faded dark blue flannel that he seems to drown in. the more joshua stares, and the more he thinks of it, jeonghan's indescribable, save for one word that could perfectly describe him.

warm. jeonghan's warm. maybe it's because of the sunlight too, but jeonghan looks like an angel, and joshua wants nothing more than to drown in him.

"joshua hong?" he says.

his voice, too, is warm.

"hi," joshua says, already relaxing at his presence. "come in, let me show you around."

the kids trail behind their father as he guides a timid jeonghan throughout the entire house. seokmin tries very hardly to muffle his giggles as he sees joshua struggle with finding where the cereal is kept.

"hey, y'know what? it's alright," jeonghan reassures, "i'll figure out a way around it."

"really?"

jeonghan nods. "of course!"

the kids only have a split second to hop onto the living room couch before joshua and jeonghan catches them spying. they race to their positions on the couch; jihoon eating a cereal bar and seokmin sharing a tablet with seungkwan.

just like the last time, joshua goes through the basics of it all. his name is jeonghan, this is, yet again, ms. hyerin’s friend and since seungcheol isn't coming over anymore, he’ll be taking over. they have to be nice to him and treat him nicely and all the common things parents tell their kids when a new babysitter comes, except this time, joshua feels a sense of security when he leaves the kids with jeonghan.

at work, he gets through all the files wonwoo has piled on his desk in no time. a few co workers even stop to point out the fact that joshua is _glowing_ today, as they said. he's not quite sure what to feel about it, not even sure _why_ today seems to be so positive for him, but he won't complain.

once the hour hand on the clock hits the number five, joshua begins packing his things. the other employees are all already scrambling out the door, ready to commence their friday night plans, but joshua isn't like them. he can't be, not when he can hear seokmin driving jeonghan crazy even at this distance.

his worry is quickly cut off at the sound of wonwoos soft voice.

"um, sir?" he says quietly.

"oh, wonwoo. what's up?" joshua asks.

"i was...going to get a drink after this," wonwoo starts, avoiding eye contact, "are you- are you free? to um, join me? if you'd like?"

oh. well, yes, joshua is _absolutely_ free. wonwoo is adorable when he's shy, and joshua would be lying if he said he hasn't thought about going out with wonwoo at least once.

but no, joshua cant join him.

as cute as wonwoo can be, and as much as joshua would love a night that isn’t spent taking care of not one, not two, but three beings that may as well be the devil reincarnated, he quite enjoys seeing them every time he comes home. besides, it’s not like he’s going to go out with his _secretary_. don’t office romances always end in hell unless you’re someone of lee chan’s sitting?

yeah, joshua’s not risking his job. not as long as his kids are at the point where they should still be acting like kids. he’s not going to deprive them of their childhood just because he has no one around. they deserve a good life; he owes them at least that much.

he smiles. “thanks won, but i’ve got tons of stuff to do tonight. maybe some other time?”

joshua half expects the corners of wonwoos lips to tug into a disappointed frown, but it never comes. instead, wonwoo looks more surprised, _hopeful_ maybe. was it the sudden nickname?

ah, shit. did he take that last part a different way than joshua had meant for it to be?

ah...shit.

joshua doesn't stick around long enough to find out. within a few seconds, he’s already throwing another excuse at wonwoo before excusing himself.

during the car ride home, his fingers drum softly on the steering wheel, matching the beat of the song playing through the speakers. he’s never really noticed before, but the pink and purple hues that made up the sky above him keeps him entranced for a moment at a red light. he gets so lost in it that if the car behind him hadn’t slammed down on their horn, he wouldn’t have even noticed that the light had turned green, and the cars all around him have all passed him.

something about today is different; he can tell. clearly, it’s either got something to do with jeonghan looking after the kids at home, or wonwoo who hasn’t been very subtle with his feelings as of lately (joshua wonders what happened to wonwoo to make him so much more...proactive). or maybe it’s something completely different, joshua doesn’t _know_ , but he feels like he truly enjoys being alive for once, like his life is finally interesting for once, and it’s an exhilarating feeling.

it’s refreshing to be able to walk up the steps to your own house without the weight of your responsibilities weighing you down. despite being the victim of corporate exhaustion six out of seven days a week, joshua thinks he’s one of the lucky ones. he really is. he has hyerin. he technically has soonyoung, so that instantly means joshua _also_ has seungcheol in one way shape or form.

and he also has the kids, how could he possibly forget? the lights of his life, and his pride and joy.

joshua stops before the front door.

oh god, he loves his kids, but he knows his kids are not the most well behaved. he prays they haven’t driven jeonghan insane. yet.

joshua opens the door.

“yoon jeonghan! bring me my cereal!”

what the?

cereal? _yoon jeonghan?_

how did they-

“yoon jeonghan! come here!”

“w-wait! i haven’t finished pouring milk-”

“yoonie! jeonghannie! i miss daddy!”

okay, despite the lack of honorifics and the technical usage of jeonghans full name, that makes joshua smile involuntarily.

seokmin is seated nicely at the kitchen island as jeonghan pours him a bowl of cereal. at…five thirty in the afternoon? seungkwan is tugging relentlessly at his pant leg, and joshua swears he sees a glimpse of jihoon with- what is that? a bowl of oranges in his arms as he runs into seokmin and seungkwans room?

what the hell is going on? why does jihoon have a bowl of oranges? aren't they supposed to be having dinner soon? why is seokmin eating cereal?

“g-guys?” joshua wearily calls out.

“daddy! you’re home!” seungkwan cries, running towards him. “mr. jeonghan is so mean to us!”

oh, so _now_ they want to use honorifics?

maybe these kids really do deserve a grammy award for their acting.

joshua scoops seungkwan into his arms. when jeonghan finally puts away the milk carton (after permission from seokmin who was adamant that there was, simply, not enough milk for his cereal), he makes eye contact with joshua at the door. he freezes. from this distance, joshua swears he sees jeonghan go through all five stages of grief _and_ a montage of his entire life before he registers that, no, he’s not dead or dying, he’s just in hell. kiddy hell, in the humble abode of joshua hong.

maybe, to him, that’s as good as death. three children have framed him for the most heinous of crimes, right in front of his new boss, on his first day, and he’s pretty sure that same boss just watched him pour one of his sons a bowl of cereal, literally filled to the brim with milk.

jeonghan wants to apologize. make up an excuse. lie maybe. or even at least just _greet_ the homeowner who has just returned from a long day at work, but all that comes out of his mouth is: “please fire me.”

jeonghan expects joshua to do just that.

except…he doesn’t.

joshua laughs. he doesn’t think he’s ever laughed _this_ hard in his entire lifetime. he must look like a maniac in front of jeonghan. god, what a weirdo. what is he even laughing at? the fact that his children are turning into pathological liars? the fact that his children have practically just milked their new babysitter of all his dignity?

perhaps, all of the above?

jeonghan’s nice enough to stick around long enough to join them for dinner (where seokmin proceeded to stomach nothing but a grain of rice), up until the second all the kids have passed out in their beds. the house is dark and quiet again, and as joshua stands with jeonghan in the hallway, he can’t seem to remember what seungcheol looked like when it was him in jeonghans position. he could’ve been taller, buffer, perhaps. joshua wouldn’t know. it feels as if it’s been ages since he last saw seungcheol, after all.

the house is dark and quiet, but joshua doesn’t feel as though he has to fill that silence with something.

“thanks for staying,” joshua says, hushed, “getting the kids to settle down is a _nightmare._ ”

jeonghan smiles. “of course, it’s really no problem.”

joshua walks jeonghan to the door. he’s supposed to be taking notes of the messes he’s going to have to clean up before heading to bed, but all his attention is directed to jeonghan. more specifically, his hair, and why it seems to be glistening whenever the tiniest ray of light touches it.

“oh, jeonghan,” joshua says, just before jeonghan walks out the door, “about earlier, it’s okay. really. i’m not firing you.”

“oh...i can- i can come back tomorrow?”

“well i’ll be more disappointed to not see you here tomorrow morning,” not a lie. joshua’s intrigued by the absolute layers yoon jeonghan must have. “i’ll have to talk to the kids about calling you by- um, y’know…”

jeonghans cheeks flush red, all the way to the tips of his ears. “s-sorry. they probably overheard me saying it over the phone or something.”

“no!" joshua quickly interjects, "no, it’s not your fault. i probably should’ve been more careful anyway.”

illuminated by the moonlight, jeonghan stands on joshua’s doorstep for the second time that day. he may have looked like an angel under the sunlight, but he looks as if the gods themselves have blessed their highest form of beauty onto jeonghan under the moonlight. although his eyes are tired from being pushed around by the kids today, they still hold a glint of mischief to them. a mischief joshua wants so badly to delve into, to get to know.

there are layers to every person, as joshua has noticed.

jeon wonwoo is cold; he’s heard office gossip about the quiet man whenever he steps foot into the break room, talking about how wonwoo’s somebody they shouldn’t cross. somebody who climbed up the ranks with sheer apathy alone, but joshua knows that’s not true. wonwoo’s like a bonfire hidden away under a thick wall of ice. joshua just so happens to be the only person the flames burn hot enough for.

choi seungcheol is the person every parent would warn their kids not to turn out like when they grow up; they look at him and they see the waves of ink tinted onto his skin and the metals on his skin, but they don’t see the way he gently holds the hand of a five year old, terrified of heights, across a bridge over the lake in the park. they don’t see the time he spends with his mother everyday at home, working to no end just so she can see her two sons for at least another day, until the day comes that the both of them are ready to let go.

yoon jeonghan, however, is still a mystery to joshua; his favourite things, favourite foods, most hated things, most hated foods. his story. his dreams. his goals. his fears. joshua’s well aware he isn’t supposed to be this eager to get to know someone, but jeonghan is intriguing and alluring and _charming_.

joshua has to let him go into the night in the end, although he’s unsure if jeonghan would actually return by the time the sun rises back into the sky.

but as joshua likes to remind himself, if the universe calls for it, then jeonghan would come back. as all good things do.

“oh, and jeonghan, by the way-”

“hm?”

“you have glitter in your hair.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a bit late !! i got caught up in a bunch of schoolwork T__T but the last part for trouble is is finally out!! hope it's enough of an ending to satify you all!!! thank you all so much for reading !!!! comments and/or feedback are highly appreciated by the way <3


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